Because I Want to Remember...

Today I begin my 31st trip around the sun... My children were up before my alarm, sweet voices with wishes of "Happy Birthday Mommy"... and we cozied up in my bedor some extra sleep time...
 Then the present... three Starbucks coffee mugs (at I actually picked myself)... that they were thrilled to give me a gift... any gift to go with their handmade cards.

Deep meaningful conversation on the phone with Anita... while I toss fruit and yogurt at the baby to keep her quiet...

More birthday phone calls...

A busy afternoon... and a sheepish gift from my sweet friend Sara who got me things that are so me!

My kind Hudson snuggling me for a nap... because he loves me and it's my birthday... and Meadow crawling into bed as well... so she wouldn't be left out of the snuggle sandwich.

This I want to remember...


 

So Here I Am on Day 30

The first week was easy... easier than I thought it would be... kind of like beginners luck in a casino... you pull the handle, things start to spin... there is anxiety... insecurity... but cha ching you come out the other side a winner...

So you put in a little more money (or add a few more expectations and commitments)... let down your guard a little... but it doesn't work that way... you don't win investing in chance... putting your hope into a random machine...

There was a KABOOM on the 8th of the month... and the Scott family was wounded once again... I could blame it on PMS... or stress or any number of things... but instead I will choose to admit that I was riding the invincible illusion of a winner's high...

I have resorted to wall push-ups and deep breathing to keep the beast at bay...

But I am not so naive to think I can do this all on my own... so thank you ladies who are supporting me and one another in this... Here's to another 30 days!

 

As the List Gets Longer...

The judgments get smaller and the love gets deeper... because as more questions get added and your own uncertainty grows it becomes too time consuming to be nit picky about the details of others lives... as I hold less firmly in my fist it allows me to open my hand invitingly to allow the person in front of me to share their broken story with me...

So as the list of questions gets longer... so does the list of guests to converse about them with.
  photo credit: theloushe via photopin cc

Peace in a Cup

The day is dreary and cold... the children wretched little beasts interrupting my peace... I am on the rampage... tired and worn out... I send the two big monsters outside... for their own safety... and put the baby monster down for her nap. But it doesn't work... there is still no peace... until Craig delivers a latte to me. :)

 

Fatherless Mothers

My heart is breaking for women who are living with husbands who don't help them... and I feel helpless to do anything for them...
So beautiful girl who is struggling to hold life together... trying to figure out how to make things better... watching as the other head of your family is oblivious to your need...

Know that I am praying for you...
Know that my heart bursts with love for you...
Know that even bigger than that is God loves you...
Know that you are worthy of this love...
Know that you were created to be beautiful...
Know that there are people who will rally around you...
Know that even though you are all the way on the other side of the computer screen... I am here for you.

  photo credit: Jeannette E. Spaghetti via photopin cc

30 Days of No Yelling... Days 1&2

So far I feel pretty good about this challenge... the women who have joined me are open books... sharing their struggles and triumphs... they are so instrumental in my success.

Day 1 I caught myself in the beginning of a yell... but I caught it yay! And from all appearances nobody sustained any damage.

Day 2 I only had 1 child with me in town shopping all day... So I didn't have much of a chance to yell even if I wanted to... but I witnessed another group member calmly remove her screaming child from the cart and take her to the bathroom until the tantrum was over... good job mama!

How are your quiet days?
 

So Long Yelling...

You have been a skeleton in my closet... and now I am going to bury you in an unmarked grave... Folks have said to me... "I didn't know you were a yeller."  That's because I only yell when there are no witnesses...

Except there are witnesses... and they are vulnerable... precious... sweet witnesses.  They are the little ones who pray a night and thank God that mommy didn't freak out today... or ask God to not let mommy lose it tomorrow.

So here is what I will do instead.

Instead of ranting about the mess... we will read a story or play game... then clean up.

Instead of letting anger explode on to those I love... I will whisper.

And if it feels like I can't control myself I will walk away.

I may add to this list as creative solutions arise... What is your strategy?
  photo credit: perpetualplum via photopin cc